perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most
forgot how it feels well almost
no one to blame always the same
open my eyes wake up in flames
it took you to make me see the light
smashed up my sanity
smashed up my integrity
smashed up what i believed in
smashed up what’s left of me
smashed up my everything
smashed up all that was true
gonna smash myself to pieces
i don’t know what else to do
covered in hope and vaseline
still cannot fix this broken machine
watching the hole it used to be mine
just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline
of the trust i will betray
give it to me i throw it away
after everything i’ve done i hate myself for what i’ve become
i tried
i gave up
throw it away
Trent Reznor

30 Days

Made it 30 days! Still haven’t been to any meetings. Thought about going today so I could get a 30 day chip.

I was never one to open up in meetings. I think I will give it a shot again. Maybe make an effort to go once a week.

Things are going really good right now. Better than they have in a long time. I’m still not making any promises. Just taking it one moment at a time.

After a battle lasting many ages,
The Devil won,
And said to God
(who had been his Maker):
Lord,
We are about to witness the unmaking of Creation
By my hand.
I would not wish you
to think me cruel,
So I beg you, take three things
From this world before I destroy it.
Three things, and then the rest will be
wiped away.’

God thought for a little time.
And at last He said:
No, there is nothing.’
The Devil was surprised.
Not even you, Lord?’ he said.
And God said:
No. Not even me.

Clive Barker

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